It Takes a Village

WOW. And GASP! It is incredible how many people have stepped in to help my son battle cancer.

His girlfriend, Amber, has been absolutely amazing. She kept me informed when Byron first went into the hospital. Then she stayed with her parents and loaned her apartment to me so I'd have a place to stay during Bryon’s first round of chemo.

Amber’s parents, Cyndi and Dave, have opened their home to all of my family as we've traveled to California to be with Bryon.

Our oldest daughter, Genette, started a fundraiser for Bryon on FaceBook, and some of my classmates from high school (even though high school was quite some time ago) chipped in to help with his medical expenses. And these were kids I didn't even hang out with! Storytellers added to the fund. So did Bryon’s friends, my friends, Genette’s friends, our youngest daughter Carmen's friends. My family has been overwhelmed by the help we've been offered. 

Extended family on my side and my husband’s side have been such an encouragement and help. There are just too many people to mention.

Many have sent cards of support, silly stories, jokes and puns to lift our spirits. Prayers, good thoughts, best wishes, text messages and positive energy have come from not only all over the United States but from the United Kingdom, Greece, Australia, countries in Africa…who am I missing? (I know I must have left someone out.)

This broad and generous support has brought me to a deeper understanding of what it really means when we say, “It Takes A Village!” I had no idea that our "village" was so extensive. How, oh how, do I say thank you for EVERYTHING and EVERYONE who is part of #TeamBryon? You have touched my heart and even healed wounds that have lingered with me for far too long. I've learned that people who do not know you can and will become part of your life; and that's a good thing. It truly takes a village.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You are appreciated!

Sincerely and with love,

Lona

The Great British Baking Show

Have you ever watched the Great British Baking Show? I like watching it because the competitors are not professionals or celebrities; they are people who just love to bake. They come from all walks of life; teachers, lawyers, ministers, homemakers, project managers. The contestants are a range of ages, male and female, of different nationalities and heritage, and live in a variety of communities.

In the show, each participant is given an area in a large tent with everything needed to create delicious baked goods. The stakes are raised with time limits, technical challenges, incomplete recipes, and, of course, the all-important taste test. Sometimes things work out perfectly for the bakers; sometimes, however, it is quite literally a flop. Everyone in the tent is proud of their creations and wants to win. They are competing with one another, yet if a fellow competitor isn't finished and the final seconds are counting down, it's not uncommon for another baker to pitch in to help.  It is endearing and encouraging to watch.

It's easy to get so caught up in our own "stuff" that we overlook opportunities to help and encourage others. Even though we might be under pressure and stressed, I hope that that we would each be willing to stop and help someone else who needs a hand. No matter the other person's occupation, nationality, heritage, gender, or where they live, I hope we will be kind, remembering we are all on this earth together. Whether it's through a TV show, an inspiring story from the news, personal example, or all of these — I also hope we will abundantly share examples of kindness with the young ones in our lives so they, too, will learn to be generous and kind to others.

#TeamBryon

My daughter, Genette, and niece, Samantha, decided to make t-shirts in support of Bryon's fight with cancer. Genette drove from Virginia to Sam’s house in West Virginia for a weekend and the two girls designed a simple logo and ironed it onto t-shirts for the family. My sister, Kay, and brother-in-law, Chuck, drove from Maryland to Sam’s house to help in the “manufacturing process.” I was in California, so they did a video chat with me so I could see what they were doing.

The design is in the color that I call "Bryon blue." Here is the story behind the color. When my kids were little, everyone in our family was assigned a color; Steven, my husband, has purple; I have yellow; Genette is green; Bryon is blue; Carmen is red. It was really an organizing system — cups were purchased in these specific colors so we knew which one belonged to whom, we identified gifts by the color of the ribbon… you get the idea, right? As the family has grown, so has the spectrum. Genette married Abe; his color is gray (he picked it, it is not my fault). Amber, Bryon’s girlfriend, has chosen teal, her favorite color.

It was appropriate that Genette and Sam used Bryon blue on the shirts. When I look at those t-shirts, I don’t just see an article of clothing, I see the love of family.

I see cousins getting together to help Bryon fight.

I see these girls being friends and enjoying each other.

I see my sister supporting me, as she always has, as I stand with my son.

When my extended family wears these shirts, I see one unit. We live in different states, are at different stages of life, with different ideas.

We are different individuals. But when it comes to the important things, we are united... we are a team.

#TeamBryon #dontmesswithmycubs

Irony of Joy

It is Sunday and I am still in California. My husband’s sister, Kristen, lives about 3 ½ hours away from Burbank where my son, Bryon, lives. Since Bryon was feeling pretty good (the further he gets away from his week of chemo, the better he feels), Kristen came to Burbank for a day trip visit. The three of us went to a local restaurant and while we were having a lovely lunch together we heard a joyful voice say, “Bryon, it’s good to see you eating.” We all looked up and there stood one of Bryon’s oncology nurses. Of course, she had seen Bryon at his worst from the chemo. How ironic to see her there. 

After lunch, Kristen, Bryon, and I walked along the sidewalk and chatted. After a stop for a scoop of ice cream, Bryon said, “Ok, I’m spent, I need to sleep.”  The whole visit lasted about 2 hours, but it really was a very enjoyable time. It was nice to see family.

After hugs and a quick picture, Kristen left, I dropped Bryon off at his place, and then I drove back to the area where I am staying. Along the way, I stopped at a park to walk some more and be alone for a while. As I was walking, I met a lady who was walking her dog. The dog was all muscle and I made a comment about it being part bulldog. She told me the breed was a combination of bulldog and pit. Trixie was the dog’s name and she was very sweet. 

“I’m Lona,” I said. 

“My name is Joy,” she replied. 

How ironic! The second woman named Joy that I have met and spoken with here in California. I wonder, does this mean something? Maybe it is just God’s way of letting me know there is plenty of Joy to be found, even in the middle of a very challenging time. I don’t have to look for Joy —Joy just showed up. All I had to do was say hello.

I took a bunch of pictures while walking in the park. The trees there were so very interesting. Leave a note and tell me what you think about them.

Taking a Break

After 5 days of sitting with my son as he had chemo that merged into a weekend where he was feeling way beyond miserable, it was time for a break. Bryon needed some time alone and I needed to step away from cancer and oncology, and focus on something different. 

I arrived in California the Saturday before Bryon started his chemo. I went to church with Bryon and Amber (Bryon’s sweet, sweet girlfriend) and met a lovely woman named Joy. She was raised in the South and has a sister who lives near Charlotte. She approached me and we talked about Cheerwine and pimento cheese and, of course, Bryon. I gave her my card and later on she texted me to check in to see how we were all doing. She made an offer, “If you need time away, let me know”. 

I took her up on it. Joy came and picked me up on Monday, took me to lunch and we chatted away about our lives. Joy is an artist too. She told me about being a screen writer and director of the Sugar Gang movies as well as the Mandie movies (that is so cool!!). Joy also paints and she took me to see what she was working on. Let me just say, the girl is good!

Then she took me to Eaton Canyon. We went on a short hike and she told me about watching out for rattle snakes as we walked down the jeep-sized dirt path. As we walked over a bridge, I looked out and there was a pair of sneakers hanging from a tree. I took a picture and wondered how and who put those sneakers in the top of that tree so far off the ground.

My new friend pointed down to the shallow creek and told me that it was unusual that there was water in the stream. “It doesn’t happen often,” she said. We walked further down the dirt path and made our way down to the creek.  It was lovely there. I pulled out my phone and took some more pictures. I took note of a speckled stone and Joy reached down and collected it for me.

It was a good day. Here are some pictures — I thought I would share them with you.

This is my break from my son’s cancer.